Rainy May Day

Rainy every day right at the moment.  I don't have unrealistic expectations for British weather, I don't think, but really it's being very silly right now.  I have been very wet very many time in the last weeks and it's also causing trouble with everything from floods to train delays.

The new job is going well, I'm enjoying being somewhere new and whilst it's not perfect and there are some problems there, these are new problems and at the moment, these don't feel like my problems.  Things will change, they always do, but it's nice to be somewhere that has a better feel and somewhere where I feel I can add value and do something worthwhile.

Otherwise, my head is all over the place.  I'm back to working 5 days a week so I'm tired and I'm also not into the right swing of things yet - I was used to doing 5 days in 4, which meant 4 long days, and I'm not yet into the swing of working 5 sensible length days, which isn't helping me.  On top of that, the newness means my brain has a lot more to think about.  But I am being more scatty than I should be and in a really bad way.  I've been forgetting people I've met in my new job - this is not good and indeed embarassing as I'm usually so good with people and faces.  I've also lost my rail ticket twice in six weeks (never previously in 13 years) and with 5 months left to run, it was an expensive loss.  I did some serious grovelling, made many phone calls and fortunately by the rail company not understanding its own procedures, I was offered a further replacement and apology for being messed around.  And I was told that under no circumstances would I get another one in the next 12 months, including in fire or theft.  That has been quite stressful and I'm so relieved it's over. 

But I don't know why I'm in quite the state I am.  I'm doing anything that I haven't done myself before - work long hours, take on new things at work, be tired ...... but it's taking its toll.  Maybe I'm old now!  But I hope not, as I hope I have a way to go and if I keep getting more scatty each year, I'll have lost my mind before I get into my forties.

Divorce rumblings on - which can't help my state of mind either.  Somehow she seems to get everything in a position of needing to make a mad, difficult decision very quickly, can't understand why it isn't sorted out, and then comes back saying that it can't happen any more and there's something else to be decided.  My very nice man is tearing his hair out and gets very, very upset about it all - which breaks my heart because I can do nothing about that. 

Looking forward, I'm counting the days until the Olympics - and going on holiday to avoid the transport chaos in London. I can't wait until I have a few days off to regain my mind.  Some of it is hopefully still salvageable!