I had a week where all I wanted to do was moan and complain and thought that my blog didn't deserve all of that. So waited until I got something nicer to write about. Which was yesterday. Despite blinding headache, I went to see an old friend, possibly my oldest friend that I'm still in touch with - in terms of longevity of friendship rather than age of friend - and who I'd not caught up with for some months because we can both be a bit pants. And it was lovely. We went for a long walk on to the downs near where he lives - well actually not that near because it must have been a good two miles to get there and then we walked for a couple of miles and then walked home again, all starting quite late in the afternoon. But the weather was beautiful and we walked and chatted.
There are some friendships that it really doesn't matter if you see your friend every day or not for weeks or months, it's still the same. And this is one of those. We've been friends for the best part of 30 years, since primary school, and we've laughed, cried, fought, travelled ...... and we're still there for each other. When I split up with my boyfriend, and I had to cope with the house on my own and get used to having no money, he was there. I've taken him on holiday because he's had no money. I've got used to his girlfriends banning him from seeing me because there "obviously" must be something going on - because I've known that if I just wait, he'll see that if she can't deal with a friendship, she's really not worth hanging on to. And my boyfriend really likes him too so that shows me that I'm with a really great guy.
Yesterday also underlined that I need to plan more exciting weekends like this. Not going far or spending lots of money but just having some quality good time with quality people. Hmm, where's my diary.
Sunday 31 July 2011
Friday 22 July 2011
Oops, neglecting my blog
So I've neglected my blog already. Partly because I've been away but also because my Smart Phone isn't smart in connection with updating a blog. I can create a new entry, or edit one that's saved, but can't actually write anything in the text boxes. Anyone? Anyone?
My holiday was wonderful and has left me not wanting to be back, particularly back in work. I've had a bit of an up-and-down year, with more down than up I suspect, and it's been pretty tricky for me as I previously loved my job. Of course I had bad days, with bosses who ranged from frustrating to incompetent to actually not very nice, but I didn't have too much trouble getting out of bed to do it. In the last year, that's been totally different. My attitude has been knocked because I was treated very badly (after being treated just "badly" a couple of years before) and as I look around, I have no faith in the senior management to be able to do what needs to be done. Or, frankly, to do very much indeed. But I manage staff and I still have the personal integrity to know that I can't let them know I feel like that and have to help them achieve their objectives every day. Blugh.
So I got back to work on Monday morning, having landed on Saturday evening, been home and in bed at a reasonable time and awake before 4am on both Sunday and Monday mornings. So I got in to work just after 7am on Monday because I knew I'd be flagging in the late afternoon. I ploughed through 300 or so emails and thought "nothing's happened". No progress had been made on big issues, and the managers below me hadn't done anything with what I'd asked them to do. Very frustrating. And it also fired the side of me that gives a big sigh every morning when I get up so that I don't want to be there again.
So we need to think about operation get out. Get somewhere else. So that I feel I'm doing SOMETHING. There is a project I'm working on that'll run to early next year and it's about changing structure and staffing so I really do want to see that through (good for the CV but also make sure my people are treated properly because they deserve it) and then ......
Answers on a postcard please .....
My holiday was wonderful and has left me not wanting to be back, particularly back in work. I've had a bit of an up-and-down year, with more down than up I suspect, and it's been pretty tricky for me as I previously loved my job. Of course I had bad days, with bosses who ranged from frustrating to incompetent to actually not very nice, but I didn't have too much trouble getting out of bed to do it. In the last year, that's been totally different. My attitude has been knocked because I was treated very badly (after being treated just "badly" a couple of years before) and as I look around, I have no faith in the senior management to be able to do what needs to be done. Or, frankly, to do very much indeed. But I manage staff and I still have the personal integrity to know that I can't let them know I feel like that and have to help them achieve their objectives every day. Blugh.
So I got back to work on Monday morning, having landed on Saturday evening, been home and in bed at a reasonable time and awake before 4am on both Sunday and Monday mornings. So I got in to work just after 7am on Monday because I knew I'd be flagging in the late afternoon. I ploughed through 300 or so emails and thought "nothing's happened". No progress had been made on big issues, and the managers below me hadn't done anything with what I'd asked them to do. Very frustrating. And it also fired the side of me that gives a big sigh every morning when I get up so that I don't want to be there again.
So we need to think about operation get out. Get somewhere else. So that I feel I'm doing SOMETHING. There is a project I'm working on that'll run to early next year and it's about changing structure and staffing so I really do want to see that through (good for the CV but also make sure my people are treated properly because they deserve it) and then ......
Answers on a postcard please .....
Sunday 3 July 2011
Drunken women
So the first problem with this blog is that my HTC doesn't let me write text in the box, only give a title. Must work on that one.
On Friday I went to a dinner as part of the "playing corporate wife" bit of this trip (I'm not actually anyone's wife, but playing corporate girlfriend doesn't have the same ring to it). It was mostly good, slightly weird but mostly good. There are some people who rate your worth but visible characteristics - at an academic conference, some guys think that you're not at all worthwhile if you don't have a PhD. And others don't want to speak to you if you can't be used as a step up for their career. And I'm used to all of that, I don't like it but I'm certainly now able to ignore it - people who don't want to speak to me really don't interest me.
But what I really didn't get at this event, and it's the first time I've witnessed it, is that there were a number of younger women (late 20s, early 30s) who are bright and not just there as the "plus one" - some who work at well-renowned universities, some with PhDs or studying for them - who needed to prove their worth by hanging on the words, and arms, of the most influential men. There was an incredible amount of eye-lash fluttering, giggling, flicking of hair ..... and as the evening went on, there were some drunken women throwing themselves at guys who, frankly, in ordinary society are the academic nerds and are not going to turn down the attentions of females, particularly young attractive ones.
But WHY, I found myself wondering. I work in a totally different sphere, the public sector, but still find myself in the middle of conversations when I'm assumed to be stupid because I am young (well, now I have to say "younger" as I go through my 30s) and female. I quite enjoy wiping the floor with these ignorant men during meetings or conversations and that's how I assert my worth in a work context. Fortunately, there aren't that many woman who try to play on their femininity to get things done and that is good for all of us. Because what I really didn't understand was that these women were setting their own cause - and those of all females in all fields back decades. These men were learning that they could chose who was academically useful based on who flattered them the most and was (possibly, I wasn't there at the end of the evening) willing to sleep with them ..... or at least might sleep with them at some point in the future. And this was seen as right.
I can't conclude anything from this because I'm still confused by it all. But can suggest that these women need to look in the mirror, develop some self esteem and simply grow up!
On Friday I went to a dinner as part of the "playing corporate wife" bit of this trip (I'm not actually anyone's wife, but playing corporate girlfriend doesn't have the same ring to it). It was mostly good, slightly weird but mostly good. There are some people who rate your worth but visible characteristics - at an academic conference, some guys think that you're not at all worthwhile if you don't have a PhD. And others don't want to speak to you if you can't be used as a step up for their career. And I'm used to all of that, I don't like it but I'm certainly now able to ignore it - people who don't want to speak to me really don't interest me.
But what I really didn't get at this event, and it's the first time I've witnessed it, is that there were a number of younger women (late 20s, early 30s) who are bright and not just there as the "plus one" - some who work at well-renowned universities, some with PhDs or studying for them - who needed to prove their worth by hanging on the words, and arms, of the most influential men. There was an incredible amount of eye-lash fluttering, giggling, flicking of hair ..... and as the evening went on, there were some drunken women throwing themselves at guys who, frankly, in ordinary society are the academic nerds and are not going to turn down the attentions of females, particularly young attractive ones.
But WHY, I found myself wondering. I work in a totally different sphere, the public sector, but still find myself in the middle of conversations when I'm assumed to be stupid because I am young (well, now I have to say "younger" as I go through my 30s) and female. I quite enjoy wiping the floor with these ignorant men during meetings or conversations and that's how I assert my worth in a work context. Fortunately, there aren't that many woman who try to play on their femininity to get things done and that is good for all of us. Because what I really didn't understand was that these women were setting their own cause - and those of all females in all fields back decades. These men were learning that they could chose who was academically useful based on who flattered them the most and was (possibly, I wasn't there at the end of the evening) willing to sleep with them ..... or at least might sleep with them at some point in the future. And this was seen as right.
I can't conclude anything from this because I'm still confused by it all. But can suggest that these women need to look in the mirror, develop some self esteem and simply grow up!
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