Keeping up with good intentions

As I mentioned, my very lovely man's resolved to move on his divorce this year and this cheers me no end.  When I was much younger and rather idealistic, I thought that I'd get married one day and whilst I'm really not bothered about that any more (I refer you back to other posts, I might like to, I'd definitely like to have the choice), I am still uncomfortable about the concept of being the girlfriend of someone else's husband.

However, this process doesn't come without its stress.  Very very little of it is mine, but I need a forum to have a rant about how I cannot sometimes believe how his ex's mind works and how she can in any way justify the position she's trying to take!  Now, let me start by saying "I know I am biased".  I need to say this before you do (or just infer it).  However, I'm prety good at staying removed from emotional situations and am doing well when I'm with my man but OMG!  Again, to give context, I have friends who have chosen/agreed with their husbands to stay at home for a period of time whilst their child/ren is/are young. I agree that this is a perfectly valid decision for them and for the child/ren (and it's also perfectly valid for a man to stay at home, or for neither to and for the child to go into good quality childcare). 

BUT this woman seems to believe that when her youngest child is 12, she shouldn't have to go into full-time work (she's a qualified teacher) until the youngest goes into high school (another 18 months) and that they shouldn't have to move house - ie. my man should continue to pay half the mortgage - until that child is 18 (and the others are then 21 and 23).  Oh but that she should get all the equity in house in exchange for relinquishing her share in his pension - which right now is probably the right agreement on paper, although it still feels unfair because she chose not to work for a long time, not when the children were very little but later on when they were in "proper" school and indeed was the one who ran up all the other debts which he has taken on since they separated.

I will stop now but it really does annoy me because I feel that women like that make all the rest of us look bad.  There are some awful men out there who do not respect their wives contributions to a marriage and who treat them badly and they deserve everything they get.  But in this case, he would have still been in a miserable marriage if she hadn't thrown him out, and he has done his utmost to be fair for the last 4 years, whilst she's turned one of his daughters against him (it was two but one has come full circle, so here's hoping) by saying so many horrid things, including telling the eldest child that her father wanted her aborted and never wanted her.  Horrid, horrid.

Yesterday was first meeting ahead of mediation and then whatever has to happen next.  I'm happy that steps have been taken and I so sympathise with his wish for this all to be over. And I want to be able to move on with our life.  Not that our life together needs to move anywhere at the moment because it's realy lovely.  But the black cloud that is the dvorce needs to go!